How many times have I changed my mind?
I stumbled across an essay I wrote for a scholarship when I was an undergraduate student. I chuckled when I read,
"I plan on attending the Wharton School in Pennsylvania to get a Master’s degree in Consulting so that I can be a management consultant and focus on helping clients new to the business of entrepreneurship."
Embarrassingly, I admit I still write long sentences. But, I’m really shocked I listed Wharton. I honestly forgot that school was one of my prospects back then. I thought I was leaning toward Columbia University and the University of Iowa. Yet still I did change my mind a lot.
Today I’m leaning toward a PMP certification and a career in contracting. But tomorrow is another day. I’m wise enough to understand now that things don’t always go as planned (even if you’re an excellent planner). Life happens and the result is a beautiful surprise in the end.
Sun, Stand Still
#sun stand still
Being a Christian blogger, there’s often pressure to keep posts inspirational and stray from vents and rants because it may make the Christian life less blessed. But we as Christians don’t live glamorous lives; we struggle.
We still have human desires and ideals. But as believers we have faith to get us through life. Without faith it’s impossible to please God. We can have anything if we just ask, but sometimes we live in doubt. We think for a moment that God has the same limitations we have. But there is nothing impossible for God.
If Joshua could say, “Sun, stand still…” and have the sun obey, surely we can take the same command over our lives. Tell your family, “Be healed.” Tell your enemies, “Scatter.” Tell your teachers, “Help me.” And when all you have is tears, tell God, “Fix it.”
So next time you see me post a rant, don’t charge it to God. Remind me, “Sun, stand still.”
What would really help is if I felt entitled to live my own life instead of obligated to pick up everyone else’s broken pieces. I’ve ignored my dreams and put off getting my dual masters to stay home for the people that needed me.
The rest of my life can’t be like this.
Need Rest? →
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
I was invited to sing at a cookout with my group yesterday. Arriving at 2pm as advised, I discovered later that the event wasn’t scheduled to begin until 4pm. Nevertheless, I waited patiently the whole time. As guests continued to pile onto the picnic benches, I asked my cousin to guard my seat while I went for food. When I returned, my seat was there…minus a few inches. The gentleman beside me decided to place his hat directly to his left…occupying the inches of sitting space that I needed to feel comfortable. Trying to gesture for him to move his hat just a little so I could sit down, I gently eased over as much as I could. Aftet I sat, he firmly asserted his elder status and affiliation with the sponsors of the cookout and ordered me not to attempt to move him off the bench. Typically unaffected by overly emotional people and their rants, I was enraged by this old man. Sitting backward in the picnic table, his hat could’ve been placed on the tabletop behind him. And it wasn’t as if I wanted him to move, I just wanted to be comfortable. I came early to secure my seat and I wasn’t going to yield it to a hat. But after the hat didn’t move, I sat with my thin legs crossed and at my food…the entire time plotting how to settle my anger before I had to sing. I thought about relocating to a spot under a tree, sitting in the car and even leaving the event altogether. Then the man asked me if where the trash can was located. Since the man looked a little feeble, I offered to take his plate to the trash for him. As I took his place, I noticed he didn’t have anything to drink. So before I left I asked if he wanted a drink from the cooler and listed a few available options. He said anything would be fine. When I returned with a Pepsi and placed it in his hand, he mentioned how you can’t find many people that would do what I did for him. Then he moved his hat.
The music started and the man felt more comfortable talking to me. He told me that the big guy on stage went to his church and that he could really sing. I asked him what church he attended and he couldn’t remember the name. For the rest of time I shared the picnic bench with him, he reiterated word for word about the big guy from his church that could really sing. Then I realized he probably had dementia like my grandma. I thought back to hat and how defensive he was earlier. And I remembered how my dad would say it’s hard being old because you can’t protect yourself and people take advantage if older people. I reasoned that this man’s attitude was his defense mechanism and his hat ensured he would have a seat at the table even if more people joined.
My sister still thinks I shouldn’t have taken his plate to the trash for him. But small acts of kindness like are a ministry. And as Christians, we’re commissioned to love even when we feel emotions on the furthest extreme of compassion. And now sitting cross-legged on a crowded bench in the heat beside a hat that wad taking up my space doesn’t seem as bad as it did then.
Last year today, I was working on the holiday for straight time. This year, I’m off. 😀
28 A false witness will perish,
but a careful listener will testify successfully.
29 The wicked put up a bold front,
but the upright give thought to their ways.
""Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything." (Philippians 4:6)"
Declined Dinner Date
#don't be shy
So a man asked to take me to dinner after church. I had to decline.
Why is it always the men over 65 with the boldness to ask me out to my face? I know some young guys are shy, but come on. Is it that hard to say, “I’m about to get some food; would you like to join me?”
I might take one of these guys up on their offer one day. I mean at least they ask.